Monday, October 7, 2013

The Girls From Ames by Jeffrey Zaslow - A Book Club Discussion

 
Meet the Girls from Ames:        
Top row: Karla, Cathy, Sally, Karen
Middle row: Jane, Angela, Marilyn
Bottom row: Diana, Jenny, Kelly
 
 
I have to admit that The Girls From Ames took me longer than normal to read.  I believe that is due to it being a non-fiction book.  Fiction tells a story, stays on point, and moves toward a specific end.  Non-fiction doesn't work that way.  This story of eleven girls (Sheila is not pictured above) is a telling of how the years have woven each of their lives into a tapestry of friendship filled with support, hope, and unconditional love.  It is ongoing to this day - there is no justifiable ending.
 
I'm not going to spend my time breaking down the lives of each woman.  You will have to read the book in order to know them better.  However, I am going to tell you that this is an extraordinary story about friendship.  It tells of the good times and the bad.  It speaks of beginning friendships, of how these girls came to be part of this group, and how they managed to hang onto it through high school, college, careers, marriages, children, divorce, and yes, even death. 
 
The women in this story are my age and I lived their stories with them because I faced some of the same types of things with my friends in high school and beyond.  I can't say that my youthful friendships evolved as their did.  I have had friends through each stage of my life but at this time, I am not particularly close to any of those from my younger years.  Though we have reconnected after many years on Facebook, this book made me wish that I had kept up those friendships. 
 
To have the same people around you who grew up with you, knew your early secrets, your triumphs,  your most embarrassing moments, is truly special indeed.  I have women in my life whom I care deeply about and have walked with me through a season (or several).  They have been there for me when I needed support or someone to laugh or cry with.  I am not saying that these friendships don't measure up, they certainly do.  But there is something extra special about keeping a childhood friendship alive throughout your lifetime. 
 
This book gives statistics about the importance of unconditional friendships and how they actually help women to live longer lives.  Husbands, marriages, and children are worth having and fighting for, but female friends bring something different to the table.  They offer a safe place to vent, to bring understanding through shared experience, and support on an entirely different level.  You may not always agree with your girlfriends, but friendships such as these offer other minds and hearts to bounce real life situations off of.  It's like having a built-in safety net (and we all need that). 
 
Long term friendships are important.  We all really do need them.  So look around you today and celebrate the women you have in your life.  If you don't have enough friends, make more.  They will become ever more precious as we grow older.  There will come a time when those friendships become our lifelines.  I want to sit on my porch swing later in life (blue haired and wrinkled) and celebrate with my friends the lives we've succeeded in living.  We will laugh and cry and probably even have to slide on a pair of Depends, but that's okay with me!   Jeffrey Zaslow did a great job sharing the eleven girls from Ames who grew into wonderful women even though scattered across the county.  I highly recommend reading this book.
 
(Before answering any of the discussion questions posted last week, I want to see if someone who read the book would be willing to post their thoughts as a "comment" on today's blog.  If we get some discussion going, I will be happy to share my answers.  Otherwise, I just feel like I'm talking to myself.)   - Thanks!
 

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